Toddlers and preschoolers love to explore their world and discover the delights of mastering new experiences. When confident about the whereabouts of their loved ones and the security they provide, children can venture away with only occasional returns for refueling.
However, when young children encounter stressful events, the balance between exploration and security tips, and the need for support and reassurance takes priority. Events that upset children’s familiar routines are especially difficult, since routines provide the framework within which new experiences become manageable.
For some children the experience of having and becoming a sibling is likely to be among the most stressful of early childhood. With the arrival of a new baby, both familiar routines and familiar relationships begin to take on unexpected dimensions, Mommy’s lap and Daddy’s attention may not be as available after the new baby’s birth, even though they may be needed more than ever. To many children the new baby seems to replace the old one. As Stein says, “And why would a mother want a new baby, unless the old one were not good enough?” Some clinicians even go so far as to compare the birth of a sibling to the death of a parent in terms of its potential significance for later personality development.